magb
wrote about Privates on Parade
I don't remember if I even sat through the entirety this thing. All I remember is that what I did see of it struck me as being unimaginably, unfathomably dull.
magb
commented Internal duplicates in Criticker import
After I had imported my ratings from Criticker, which I did before I added any other ratings on this site, the site told me there were three movies I had already rated. Those movies are To Live, The Apartment and 101 Dalmatians, all of which happen to be movies that share the name of another movie I'd rated on Criticker. For reference: "To Live": http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0044741/ and http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110081/ "The Apartment": http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053604/ and http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115561/ "101
On Criticker all my ratings are multiples of 5, from 0 to 100, but the result of the conversion was that all the films I had rated 10-100 ended up being rated 10, while the few films I'd rated 5 and 0 ended up as 5 and 1 respectively. I'm 99% sure I chose "auto" for the score conversion. The site tells me my import has the ID 435, if that helps.
magb
wrote about Pearl Harbor
This is the worst movie I've ever seen.
magb
wrote about Home Alone 3
It's the same, terrible premise, but somehow it's EVEN WORSE this time.
magb
wrote about Freddy Got Fingered
I'll admit that it made me chuckle every now and then, but this is one of the worst movies ever made.
I have a better idea: Die now, and never come back.
magb
wrote about The Day After Tomorrow
Some awesome special effects in one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
The Core is a disaster even among disaster movies. I can't and won't accept this grave, grave insult of a movie. It is an affront unto science and human achievement. I do not accept the explanation that The Core takes place in some alternate universe where different laws of nature apply, because I do not accept that such a fundamentally retarded universe CAN exist, even in theory. No no no no no no I do not accept it no no no no.
magb
wrote about Battlefield Earth
You think it can't possibly be as bad as they say, but it is. It really is.
The best part is the Weird Al song, and even that isn't great.
magb
wrote about Plump Fiction
The only thing dumber than the fact that I watched this movie without having seen Pulp Fiction is... this movie.
magb
wrote about Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas
At one point the Grinch hails a taxi, but when the cab driver sees that he's the Grinch he speeds off. The Grinch then says "It's because I'm green, isn't it?!" That was kind of funny.
Ugh ugh ugh. This is Adam Sandler at his very worst. Terrible, awkward, unfunny. No real redeeming qualities.
Twist again! Like we did last summer! Come on, let's twist again! Like we did last year! Do you remember when things were really hummin'? Come on, let's twist again! Twistin' time is here!
A very, very bad Jaws rip-off.
Is it really too much to ask for that at least ONE SINGLE PERSON on the production staff have even the slightest idea of how a volcanic eruption actually behaves? Apparently so, and as a result every single part of this movie is beyond stupid and well into the realm of hilariously unscientific.
magb
wrote about Flight Girls
Not that I remember anything at all about this movie, but I'm gonna say that it "ends up being what it tries to satirize", since that is a Classy Thing To Say In A Review.
All these stupid slasher movies play out in exactly the same way. People are murdered, main character has theory about murders, no one else believes main character, more people are murdered, still no one believes main character, then there's a-- oh to hell with it, you all know how it goes. It's formulaic tripe, and it's more often unintentionally funny than it's scary.
magb
wrote about Catch the Wind
Even for a disaster movie, this is weak sauce.